Date 11

I met this guy on Tinder. He was a nice, Jewish boy and lived on the Upper West Side. His name was Jeremy. At the time I was 43 and he was 26. He was an accountant and studying for his CPA license. I was doing laundry while we were texting and he wanted to Facetime me. I said sure. I looked awful. Because, well I was doing laundry. But we facetimed. He was actually much cuter on facetime. The next day was 4th of July so we decided we were going to spend it together. He came over and drank a little and walked outside to see if we could see fireworks. We couldn’t. We went back inside and talked for awhile. His parents lived on Long Island and they don’t know that he isn’t orthodox because they are. He went to Yeshiva for college. He seemed like a nice guy. We slept together. And he suggested 69-ing, which I was surprised about. It’s such an olde skool thing to do. I hadn’t done that in forever. It was pleasant. I give him points for creativity. After awhile he left and then i heard from him a few days later to see if I wanted to hang out. I was like “sure”. And he said he’d call me Saturday. So i said okay. To be honest I didn’t really care if I saw him again or not. But i didnt have plans yet so I said sure…if he wants to come to my place. Saturday rolls around and i didnt hear from him. Around 4pm I asked if he was coming over. He said he couldn’t decide between coming over or going to a party his friend was throwing. So i said that is so rude to make me wait around to see what your decision is. I said go to your friend’s party. And then I blocked him. No big loss. Truly. But two years later and I’m scrolling through Facebook and because you can log in to Tinder with Facebook he came up in my friend suggestions. I’m like really?? Thanks FB. Great data mining. Luckily they do also have the hide feature so I don’t have to see his smiling indecisive face staring out from his profile pic anymore.

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